April 16, 2026

"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place." — George Bernard Shaw

A few years ago, I was brought into a manufacturing company outside of Milwaukee to work with a senior operations manager named Dave. Smart guy. Twenty years in the industry, solid track record, well-respected by the guys on the floor. But his team of direct reports was in rough shape. Constantly complaining, work efficiency was decreasing, and no one on the team was happy. Dave was doing everything a manager is supposed to do. He was having regular one-on-ones, he was setting clear expectations, he was consistent, showed up on time, and never asked people to do things he wouldn't do himself. He wasn't a screamer, wasn't a micromanager, wasn't playing favorites. He was genuinely a decent person who cared about his team. The company called and brought me in for Dave and some other managers who were having issues. Pretty quick into our first session, it was clear where the disconnect was coming from: Dave and the other managers communicated with everyone the exact same way that they wanted to be communicated with. For Dave, it was communicating fast, direct, results-focused, minimal small talk, here's the task, here's the deadline, let's get moving. For about a third of his team, that was great. They loved it. They knew where they stood, they had what they needed, and they could go execute. For the other two-thirds? It was brutal. One of his people told me, "He makes me feel like a number." Another one said, "I've been here six years, and I genuinely don't think he knows my kids' names." Dave wasn't a bad communicator. He was actually a very effective communicator with people who communicated like him. His problem was that he only had one gear. This is the core idea behind the Communication Compass, which is the framework we've built our entire approach around at Dynamic Developments. The four styles are Achiever, Energizer, Supporter, and Analyzer. And every one of us has a primary style that feels normal and comfortable. The trouble isn't having a primary style; the trouble is expecting everyone else to be the same. Achievers like Dave move fast. They want the bottom line; they hate wasting time; and they build confidence through decisiveness. There is nothing wrong with any of that. But when an Achiever leads a Supporter without adjusting their approach, the Supporter can feel as if the Achiever is being dismissive, and their bluntness is disrespectful. They don't say anything, because Supporters rarely do at first; they just quietly disengage. Energizers are the opposite problem. They want to connect, talk, and know how you're doing before they get into the agenda. An Achiever leader with an Energizer team member will often cut those conversations short, and the Energizer experiences that as a signal that they aren't valued. What the Achiever sees as efficiency, the Energizer experiences as rejection. Analyzers need information and time. They don't make decisions out loud, and they don't like being put on the spot. If you are always expecting answers in real time, and not giving people time to process the information, you're going to miss out on your best Analyzer thinking, because they'll go quiet the moment they feel like they don't have enough data to respond confidently. They'll nod, agree to something, and then come back to you later with seventeen concerns. This isn't avoidance, it's just how they process. Now here's where I want to be clear about something, because I see this misunderstood a lot. Adapting your communication style does not mean becoming someone you're not. I'm not telling Dave to become a relationship-first Energizer. I'm not telling him to slow down and start asking about people's kids if that's not genuine for him. What I am telling him is that he needs to build awareness of what each person on his team needs to receive communication well, and then adjust his delivery just enough to meet them there. Think about it this way. You probably drive differently depending on the road conditions. On a clear highway, you drive one way. In a construction zone or a school zone, you adjust. You don’t change who you are; you're still the same driver, you still know how to drive, but you read the environment and respond accordingly. That's all versatility is in communication. Dave and I took a good chunk of time talking about his team. For his Supporters, we talked about adding a few minutes at the start of each one-on-one to talk about things that had nothing to do with work. This would be a time for a genuine check-in. For his Analyzers, we talked about sending agenda items in advance so they could come prepared, and stopping the habit of asking for opinions in meetings without giving people time to think first. For his Energizers, we talked about acknowledging ideas before evaluating them, because Energizers need to feel heard before they can hear feedback. None of these were big changes. That's what I want people to understand. Versatility isn’t changing who you are. It's making some small adjustments in your communication style that shows the other person: I see you, and I'm willing to meet you where you are. Three months later, I got a message from Dave. The team had stabilized, efficiency was increasing, and people were happier! Dave told me it was the most valuable professional development he'd done in his career, which is genuinely one of the nicest things I've ever heard from a client. What had changed wasn't his competence, drive, or values. What changed was his range. One of the things I say in our Effective Communication workshops is that the most common assumption people make is that everyone around them processes information the same way they do. It seems obvious when you say it out loud. Of course everyone doesn't think the way you do. But when you're in the middle of a busy week, when you've got deliverables and deadlines and four back-to-back meetings, you default to what feels natural. You talk to people the way you want to be talked to. The Golden Rule is a solid moral framework, but we also need another rule to put the Golden uleRule into practice in communication. The Platinum Rule, which my dad Ed has been teaching for decades, flips it: do unto others as they would like to be done unto. This is not about pandering or sugarcoating. It's about appreciating that your job as a communicator isn't to express yourself clearly. It's to be understood. Those aren't the same thing. You can deliver a perfectly logical, well-structured message and still have it land completely wrong because you delivered it in a way that didn't match how the other person receives information. The message got sent. Communication did not take place. Dave is still with that company, as far as I know. His team is still together. And what I remember most about working with him is that he wasn't resistant; he wasn't defensive when I laid all this out. He was genuinely surprised. He had no idea that people were experiencing him the way they were. Most leaders don't. That's the gap the Communication Compass exists to close: the distance between your intention and your impact. That gap, by the way, is where most conflict in organizations lives. Not in bad intentions. In mismatched styles that nobody has ever named out loud. So here's what I want to leave you with. Think about one person on your team or in your life who you've been struggling to connect with. Not someone you dislike, just someone where communication feels harder than it should. Ask yourself whether you've been communicating with them the way you want to communicate, or the way they need to receive it. Those two things are often very different. And the gap between them is absolutely fixable.